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I Thought I Did Everything Right.....
So if I’m just being completely real, I don’t know if you guys have ever had this feeling, but I felt bamboozled.
I did all the things—the very traditional path, you know? Went to college, got my degree, graduated, got the job, started making the money, found my way, moved up the ladder. All the while thinking, this is going to bring me success. I’m going to have this amazing life.
But my reality just ended up not really matching up with my expectations and what I thought my life was going to look like.
Career Driven, Hustle-Focused
Anybody who knows me knows—I hit the ground running when I graduated. I was all about the girl boss era: getting the titles, trying to make as much money as possible. That’s always been me—type A personality, on the grind, trying to make things happen.
So whether you knew me from mortgage banking or when I transitioned and went to law school, I’ve always been very career-focused. And honestly, I just didn’t take much time—ever—to focus on anything outside of my career.
Gradually Growing Discontent
Over time, I started feeling it. That discontent creeping in.
I was doing work that didn’t satisfy me. I didn’t feel fulfilled. And I kept thinking, Okay… this isn’t quite what I expected, but this is what’s happening. Life was lifing, of course. A lot happened in the meantime. But I think the biggest shift came after my divorce.
The Wake-Up Call: My Divorce
That was the moment.
By the time I was 37, I had done all the things, achieved all the things, and suddenly—my entire world felt like it was falling apart.
Because so much of my identity was tied to my career. I’d never really taken the time to figure out: Who is Sandra if she doesn’t have the good-paying job, the career titles, or the husband?
I had never stopped to think about who I was outside of those things. My identity was wrapped up in what I had done and what I had achieved.
Starting Over At 37
So when I got divorced, it felt like: I’m 37 years old and I literally have to start completely from scratch.
And not just in terms of a relationship—more like: everything I had built, everything I’d tried to achieve, was crumbling.
I didn’t like my career path. I’d spent so much money on education, and I wasn’t even happy with the work I was doing. And now, I was getting a divorce on top of it.
This entire person I had built myself up to be, this whole life I created—it imploded.
An Identity Crisis I Didn't See Coming
What I didn’t realize until then was that I never had a strong sense of self outside of my roles.
I was in the middle of a full-blown identity crisis, trying to figure out Who am I? What am I supposed to be doing?
Because up until that point, I had always had a roadmap. A plan. I followed it. And it worked… until it didn’t. Until I found myself at 37 thinking, Oh sh*t. I have to figure this whole thing out all over again.
Nobody Teaches You How To Grow Personally
What made it harder? Nobody ever talks about this part.
We don’t talk about personal growth. We don’t talk about development outside of career advancement. All we ever really focus on is surviving and being “successful” in the world.
So when you find yourself completely lost—directionless with no real guidance—you have to figure it out alone.
That moment forced me into it. I didn’t realize it at the time, but that was the beginning of my healing journey.
From Crisis To Healing
Looking back now, I can see how much I’ve changed, grown, and shifted over the years. And as I started sharing my story—casually at first—with friends, with other women, I realized…
I wasn’t alone.
A lot of us—especially type A, driven, overachievers—find ourselves here. Wondering, How do I pivot in midlife? How do I make a change when I’ve built my entire identity around this version of success that no longer fits?
Learning To Ask The Hard Questions
There was no manual for this. Just trial and error. A lot of, What do I like? Who am I? What do I even desire in life?
I had to ask myself the hard questions.
But doing that work—really getting curious and honest with myself—changed me.
It transformed me.
And I started to see: if we don’t do this work… we can easily spend our whole lives on a path that doesn’t fit us at all.
Why I'm Sharing This Now
So much of what we’re taught focuses on outer success, but what about inner fulfillment?
We don’t learn this stuff in school. A lot of us didn’t learn it at home either.
So where do we go to learn how to develop ourselves—outside of our professions, roles, and achievements?
To me, this is the cornerstone of living a good life. A fulfilled life.
And that’s what brought me to this moment.
Becoming The Woman You're Meant To Be
I want to help other women navigate this process. To discover their own path of personal growth, to understand themselves more deeply, and to live their lives with more clarity, intention, and purpose.
Life is unpredictable. There are twists and turns, pivots, new decisions to make. But when you take ownership of your life—when you take responsibility for the direction you’re headed in—it changes everything.
Because ultimately, this is about becoming the woman you were always meant to be.
When the path you planned no longer fits, who are you becoming instead?
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I am so excited to be on this journey alongside you. 🙏🏽❤️
Thank you, Dyuanna. So happy to see your beautiful face and have you part of this evolution and journey. It’s been quite the ride and you’ve been a day 1. This new direction feels like a continuation and evolution of Healing Is The New Sexy. I’ve learned that even where we begin is never where we stay. So my mantra comes along with us in new form, alongside this new adventure as we continue to discover, grow and heal through the seasons life will continue to usher us into. This is Becoming in motion. Thank you for your presence and your support. xx always. ~Sand